by Guest Contributor Robin Rogers of Robin Rogers Photography
I sat here with a blank screen for days. The right words to express the impact this shoot had on me were nowhere to be found. So, I am just going to speak from my heart. My hope is you can all follow along, and take a piece of this with you.
I have suffered from depression a large portion of my life. I can sit here and give the story of the not great childhood, the abusive relationships, or the harsh lifestyle that I got into. However, at the end of the day, it doesn’t change the bottom line. Depression is hard. Depression sucks. Depression sucks the life right out of you. Today I have a family, a husband, three children, and a career. Those things don’t change that still existing depressive state. It effects so many of us no matter what your lifestyle.
You always hear that there are all of these outlets to get help. The reality is this that when you are depressed you are stuck in this hole. A hole that you feel nobody can understand. You are standing at the bottom looking up at the rest of the world passing you by. You want to reach a hand out, but something inside of you tells you not to. You don’t feel worthy of the attention. You don’t see or feel the love of those around you. You sit alone. Some days you start to feel like you will never feel joy, or love, or happiness again. You blame yourself.
I don’t know if I will ever fully kick depression, so many things in my life have been dark. I think its hard to overcome those things. I go to therapy weekly, and we talk about those demons. I am on depression and anxiety meds. The meds help mask the overwhelming physical ailments that accompany depression and anxiety. At the end of each day though, whether forefront, or back burner, they still exist. They are part of me make me who I am today.
I am finally opening up to a place where I can turn these feelings into my own art form through my camera. I recently read an article about Andrea Barber (AKA Kimmy Gibler). She found her serenity through running. The article was inspiring. It was so wonderful to hear that someone felt the same way as me and wasn’t ashamed to publish it. (check out the article from INStyle. I highly recommend it!)
I have a group of 7 dancers which I hand selected for this shoot. They each brought a piece to the shoot that I found magic in them. Although your life has been so shortly lived, Julia, Cameron, Kali, Lorelei, Sam, Nick, Grace, I draw so much inspiration from you all. You took my vision and boosted it to the highest. While shooting, it was hard not to get overly emotional because I played my role through Julia, the black. Sitting in a room full of friends, yet alone. Each shot is a direct reflection and play on me. It was so wonderful to open myself up into this shoot. Shooting is my outlet. Without my camera, I don’t know if I would have ever made it to where I am today. The gift of art is therapy in its own way. It’s raw—its me. Use your art! No matter what it is. Use it to create, inspire, and SAVE A LIFE.
If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, or feeling suicidal, PLEASE through the pain know that there are others out there that hurt, too. You are NOT alone. Please seek help. We want you all here on Earth with us, healthy and beautiful. If you have a friend that needs help, HELP! If you can’t, get them help. My email is always open, send away. I am here. Call the National Suicide Prevention Line. 24/7 there IS someone to talk to! 1-800-273-8255. It’s for EVERYONE! I’ve called, its pain free, I promise. We want you here. It’s not worth it to deprive the world of all your amazing.
About the Artist:
Hi! I’m Robin. I’m a natural light photographer, located in the Central Texas area. Chasing the world with my Canon, and capturing memories one day at a time. I have 3 beautiful children, and am married to an amazing man, who serves in the Army. That has brought my photography journey to Texas, and our hopes are to make it home for a long time!